A Million Shards
by gorgikles
Summary: Something unexpected happens to Mal while in deep space, how will Kaylee react to seeing him like this ? (whump).
Mutual Understanding

Fandom - Firefly

Characters - Malcolm Reynolds, Kaylee, Simon Tam

*MAL'S POV*

Its was early days in the firefly class ship, the new passengers aboard were making life a might harder for Mal and his crew, after the deal with the Fed mole on his ship Mal had kept a much tighter reign on what exactly his new crew mates were up to.

At this time Mal was pretending to be fascinated with the con-tense of his coffee cup (if you can even call that black sludge coffee) while actually staring daggers at Simon who seemed to be flirting with Kaylee a might obviously, Kaylee seemed to be appreciating the attention and reciprocated.

A small boom grabbed Mal's attention as he was mixing his coffee, a small benign asteroid hitting the ship was a daily occurrence while they were in deep space. This clang stole Mal's attention way from eavesdropping and back to his time at serenity valley.

 _The time when all hope was lost, the time when horrendously loud gun shots and gut wrenching screams became the constant sound track to his life, haunting his every waking moment along with the wretched stink of his dead friends that they had stacked up in rows to use as sand bags._

The mere thought of this made Mal shudder before plunging into a fully fledged panic attack, he was painfully aware of his hands becoming weak and the coffee cup slipping from his grasp and onto the floor, breaking into a million pieces.

*KAYLEE'S POV*

Simon and I were having a mighty pleasant conversation when I heard the sound of something breaking, I looked behind me to see a distant looking Mal in the kitchen staring at the broken mug on the floor.

Before long he started to breath shallow and deeply and shake violently, I was by his side at an instant while he slowly crumpled to his knees, I had never sen Mal like this before and it was terrifying.

*MAL'S POV*

 _When there was no hope of escaping the claws of the alliance they had fought so valiantly against for so long, the fire and passion was not there anymore, the whole of Mal's battalion was malnourished and trapped like rats at the far corners of Serenity Valley._

*KAAYLEE'S POV*

Simon was still in shock of the display in front of him "Simon, help I don't know whats happening!" I sobbed which shook him into action.

"I don't have any experience in mental health?!" he exclaimed, rage bubbled inside me as he continued to watch the spectacle as if this were a theater.

*MAL'S POV*

 _After the team was denied help from the cruiser that was meant to send reinforcements they all lost hope until one day there was an ambush. Everyone in the battalion was torn up to pieces by round after merciless round fired from machine guns._

*KAYLEE'S POV*

"Do something!" I yelled at Simon as I tried to calm Mal down but the attack just seemed to get worse, he was now curled up on the floor in the fetal position hyperventilating like crazy.

I was scared for his life as he slowly started to move erratically in repetitive patterns before I realized Mal was having a seizure, his body rocked backwards and forwards while his arms started moving from side to side, a horrible gasping noise came out of his mouth and I realized that was him trying to breath.

*MAL'S POV*

 _All were killed in the massacre except Mal and Zoe who were held captive by the coward alliance and tortured in a basement somewhere behind enemy lines. At this special hell the alliance had thought up for them every five hours on the hour their captors would come in and shoot him in all the non- fatal places and stitch them back up._

*KAYLEE'S POV*

After long I had gathered him up in my arms while he was still seizing in order to give him even the smallest amount of comfort while Simon was by my side taking his pulse every minute to make sure he was still going strong.

This was terrifying, watching Mal so helpless and at the mercy of those around him, he started to stop having a seziure but still was not acknowledging her at all, he just seemed to stare right through her.

*MAL'S POV*

 _Mal almost didn't care about the fact that he was getting shot, Instead one piece of his soul was crushed every time he heard the gun shot go off in the cell next to him, that boom sound meant that Zoe was wounded and this hurt him more than the gaping hole in his thigh._

*KAYLEE'S POV*

Simon left ten minutes later and declared that he would be fine once he had woken up, soon after that as Kaylee stared off into the distance, she heard a soft "Kaylee?" from down on her lap, Mal was awake but the heart break in his eyes broke her heart a million times over, they just sat on the floor embracing each other for the next ten minutes until Mal was strong enough to walk to his cabin.

From then on Kaylee kept a much tighter eye on Mal, aware of his weaknesses much more than anyone else on Serenity, Kaylee was now the one he crawled to after having a panic attack or nightmare, they would just hold each other for however long felt right, the understanding between the two made them much stronger in everything they did, the fact that they both had someone that they could confide in with their deepest darkest secrets made them feel secure.

Lets just say that Mal never had one more sleepless night alone with his thoughts right after a nightmare, there was always someone he could rely on to understand.

Thank you for reading till the end :3

As usual, all reviews and opinions are welcome ! :)

-AG


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